He just had an evaluation done by the county and another one done by his private speech therapist and both showed significant delays in speech, cognitive development, physical development, and daily living. His abilities range from a 14 month old to a 23 month old. His average age puts him at roughly a year and a half behind. But according to his doctors nothing is wrong with him... he's just a little delayed...
I accept Liam for who he is; I hate sounding like I'm just complaining about him or his issues. It's just hard as his mother to not know what to do to make his life easier. It's so frustrating to watch him "talk" to me and not recognize anything that he just said. He now recognizes when you just smile and nod him off when you don't understand him; so I have to try with all my might to decipher what he's saying even though sometimes I have absolutely no clue. He knows what he wants but doesn't know how to clearly communicate that to me. So we have lots and lots of screaming fits these days.
I think he's starting to realize that Claire is surpassing him. The other day she narrated a commercial to me as any 19 month old can. She saw a cat and said "meow." Then said "cat" after I did. Then she pointed at the cat's food and said "food, eat." Liam just looked at her in amazement; as did I. Even though he can't communicate like her, I think he knows a lot more than we know he knows. His recall of past events is amazing and I think he gets so upset when we can't understand him because he really does know what he wants and can't get it out.
These days I find myself turning away from him more and more just so he won't see me cry. I want to help him, I want to make things easier for him, but how? Today at speech I told his therapist we're coming up to a plateau period and I need to know are we using picture therapy or am I becoming fluent in sign language? Where do we go from here?
Today Liam became eligible for special education services in Fairfax County - yay :( I'm glad he'll get services but it's hard at the same time. He'll have an IEP meeting in the next few weeks and I'll have to prepare myself to send my nonverbal child to preschool in the fall... but I won't think about that just yet. Have to take things day by day.
God made each one of my babies so unique and they have all taught me so much. It's a blessing to be a mother and one day I will have a clear conversation with Liam, I will walk next to him and his legs will be nice and strong, I will watch him play and enjoy being with other children - not sure at what age all of this will happen - but it will happen.
