I'm not a complainer... or at least I try not to be. I understand I have a blessed life; things aren't perfect but overall my family is healthy and even when money is at its tightest we still manage to have clothes on our backs and food on the table. I love my family and I love my life :)
Today we had Liam's one year review at the speech office we've been attending therapy at since last February. His therapists were so anxious to complete his review because when we took Liam to them last year he didn't speak and barely made any sound at all. He has clearly made advancements in the last year.
The test went well, but I could tell by his therapist's face when I walked in that it didn't go as well as it could have. They believe he has apraxia of speech... he literally doesn't know how to speak properly. He can't repeat consistent sounds and it's his inconsistency that makes treatment difficult.
However, during the test he did confirm how much he is absorbing; he is understanding more than he can express. This is very frustrating for him. Now at home he has meltdowns because he knows exactly what he wants but doesn't know how to tell us clearly. Claire, like a normal 18 month old, has temper tantrums when she doesn't get her way but can be easily redirected. Liam, who is almost 3, knows what he wants or needs and knows he should tell us, he just doesn't know how.
We've had more episodes lately where he'll just babble and babble to us and then break down and cry in frustration when we can't help him. He'll come to us and point to what he wants so we go through everything in the general area to try and see what he's telling us and so far we haven't been successful. We literally emptied out our kitchen one night as he was trying to point to something we assume he wanted to eat but never found what it was. Eventually the meltdown subsides, but watching him struggle and get so frustrated kills me.
I want to do more to help him but can't. We're doing all we can and his therapists keep telling me that we're doing more than most parents. I yearn for the day when I can have a conversation with him and understand him. Right now I understand Claire more because she tries to initiate conversations whereas Liam repeats what he sees - his conversations are more like a narration of what's going on; he doesn't have any initial or original thoughts.
For now I'll continue my prayers for answers and solutions. Giving my questions up to God is so hard, but sometimes that's all you can do.